Get Cozy

A December to Remember, you say? As in, “remember, that in order for your family to truly love you, you really need to wrap up a Lexus key fob and put that bitch under the tree this Christmas.”

Count me in as one of millions of people who have watched these ads – for 26 FREAKING YEARS now – and loathed the people in them. Forget the cars, I always focused on the actors, and the characters they are portraying to the buying public. Upwardly mobile, enjoying their 4,000+ square feet of living space, all in matching Burberry pajamas, sipping what I assume must be Velvetisir hot cocoa, sitting in the aftermath of their countless opened gifts around their 25+ foot tree… with that one final small box for the wife, husband, or 16 year old child who has suffered for weeks without their own ride.

Once the inevitable “big reveal” occurs, with the screams of delight, and manic jumping and circling of the new car in the driveway, complete with signature red bow, whatever joy we are supposed to feel in that moment, at least for me, is rage.

I’m fully aware I’m not “in the demo” of people who do this kind of thing to buy loyalty from their loved ones. I prefer guilt trips and threats – much cheaper and more fun. But still, the vast majority of viewers can’t relate to these Lexus families, and I suspect would rather egg those cars in a driveby. It’s noticeable Lexus has introduced minority families, mixed race families, and LGBTQ families over the last few years. You’re not fooling anyone, Lexus. Those too are douchebags. Ultra wealthy, smarmy, spoiled, entitled douchebags.

There are degrees of privilege depicted in these commercials, I will concede. Some of these teenagers had to act surprised and grateful for the ES300 Sedan, and not the LC500 Coupe they so desired. Or how about seeing the tiny UX300 SUV parked in your driveway when the much roomier, LX SUV with 409-horsepower twin-turbo V6 engine was in the SAME SHOWROOM? Thanks Dad.

Full disclosure – I once owned a 2000 Black Lexus GS Sedan. I bought it used and drove it for over 100,000 miles. It was a great car. I’m grateful I never had to remove a massive red bow from it’s roof before driving it. It was a pedantic process of borrowing money and then paying it off – like a schmuck.

Kudos to Saturday Night Live for calling out the bullshit in this brilliant and hilarious sketch from 2020:

Media often call this annual promotion by Lexus, “iconic”. Truth be told, it’s an incredibly successful advertising campaign which launched the brand into a leadership position in the luxury class of vehicles. In 2024 this campaign was responsible for almost 25% of the entire year’s sales. I suspect the vast majority of purchases, however, are done in consultation with one’s spouse – and not presented as you would two tickets to “Hamilton”. It does appear that most consumers are eating up the prestige Lexus has built over the years through ads like these, even though they would never let their kids hang out with that conceited twat who lives up the mountain.

This year, three weeks before we arrive at the month to be remembered, Lexus is running a new ad – that threatens to soften the gaudy theme of extravagant gift-giving. It’s a journey through time, featuring a young couple barely getting by with a basic Lexus sedan, raising a child who grows up into a young woman with her own Lexus and shaggy boyfriend. They themselves then transform into parents of an infant child, and a bigger Lexus, as the now grandparents laud over the perfection of their family in the driveway, beside a new Lexus SUV. This is all against the backdrop of Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide”. It’s a nice ad, there are no bows – and even for those who drive simpler vehicles it is a relatable message about family.

Once Thanksgiving arrives, we may once again be inundated with lords and ladies exchanging cars as their children head out to polo practice and dressage. And all will be well for Christmas, for the 26th consecutive year.