Get Cozy

I’m sure my buddy Matt meant well when he explained his 72-hour fasting strategy he undergoes once every quarter:

“The first day is uncomfortable, but manageable. It’s the second day where things tend to get quite challenging, and it can be hard to overcome. But, on that third day, once your body is in full ketosis, you will feel an energy that you’ve never felt before – it’s quite amazing.”

Sounds compelling, right?

I have gone without food for a day here and there in my life. Never has it been voluntary. Typically, it was because I had the flu, or because the previous evening was filled with sugary blender drinks and tequila shots on top of chilli fries and ice cream. In both scenarios, it was impossible to eat while delivering a technicolor yawn into the porcelain chamber pot. But okay, I was fasting.

Not eating for three days requires a plan. It’s not something you can do if your calendar is filled with travel, or commitments, or major life events. For me, I also ruled out a weekend, as I felt my work would help distract me from temptation. I settled on a “noon-noon” schedule, figuring that I would end at lunch on the third day, and break my fast (hey, “breakfast”!) gradually as opposed to eating and going to bed.

DAY 1 Complete (Noon to Noon)

I ate my last meal at noon yesterday – a turkey sandwich, two bananas, and some almonds. That is more than I usually eat at lunch, and I have to admit I considered really stuffing myself to get through that first day. But, moderation won the day. Having placed my dishes in the dishwasher, I wiped my hands and showed them to the dog like a blackjack dealer, and bid farewell to my kitchen.

Dinnertime was surprisingly hard. I sat and watched my family prepare and then consume the greatest smelling chicken taco feast you can imagine. It was noteworthy that my family, whom I love, went out of their way to express how delicious each bite was. I drank my herbal tea, and laughed along with them. Internally, I was planning a mass murder.

After watching some hockey, and side-eyeing my sons munching on popcorn and Goldfish throughout the game, I went to bed at my normal time around 11PM. I had made it to the first night without significant drama. I wish I could say I had a great sleep, but it was restless. It has been said that hunger tends to subside when you sleep. This was not my experience, and if you hear that in your “journey”, you should call that person a liar.

So it was that my first fasting morning started in a hungry fog, with black tea and big jug of water. Fasting does require a steady intake of water to assist with the inevitable cleanse of toxins that happens naturally when your body starts to eat itself. It also ensures healthy “output”, if you catch my drift. Weight loss can be dramatic during a three day fast, and if my deposits after 24 hours are any indication, I may become a supermodel by the weekend. Hey – maybe that’s my journey!

Day 2 Complete (Noon to Noon)

Working from home as I do when you are starving makes the hallway to the kitchen a lot shorter. I was focusing on my laptop all afternoon, knocking some meetings out – but the refrigerator, I swear, was making noises it never makes. Even through my headphones, I heard my name being whispered. <Deeeeaaaannnn… the tacos! Mmmmmmm…. tacos! Deeeeaaannnnn….>

There was a part of me that felt I was becoming Jack Torrance in The Shining. Was the netherworld trying to contact me? Where was my axe, I think the crawlspace? It was very distracting. I drank my water, and herbal tea – and convinced myself they were milkshakes.

Plenty of self-doubt surfaced. I wasn’t even halfway through this experiment. Another odd thing was that I kept periodically shivering and shaking, with frequent yawning like an old dog. I was reminded that my body was reacting to the trauma of zero cheese in over 36 hours. The body needs its energy, and it was manifesting that energy in the form of vibrations. A priest may have even determined it was demons leaving my inner soul, to seek out other hosts – preferably ones with some decent food.

Dinnertime arrived, and thankfully the family took some pity on me this time around. In response, I made them feel guilty by cleaning the kitchen as they finished their meal. Their torment from the evening before would not go unpunished.

I am grateful to the NHL for scheduling their playoff games to accommodate my fast, as it allowed me to pass the evening away without focusing on the hunger – for the most part. Being forced to cope with the television ads during the games seemed a bit cruel. In the state I was in, the McDonald’s Crispy Chicken Tenders looked like a bone-in ribeye. I found myself putting my phone down while locked into a slack-jawed stare usually reserved for pornography (I am told…).

What followed was yet another restless sleep, but perhaps a bit better than the previous night. The hunger was there, but surprisingly not as bad as the day before. After the morning shower and shave, I have to say I felt relatively normal, apart from the cacophony of sounds emanating from my innards. If you can imagine the combination of a swamp at dusk, and a dumpster being filled with baseballs, you may get close to how my body was communicating.

I had made it to the 48 hour mark, with one more turn of the clock remaining. I felt optimistic – the body was less bloated and I had the weigh-in the following day to see what mysteries would be revealed. Courage, Dean.

Day Three Complete – Fast Ends

Yesterday, with the finish line now in sight, and 24 hours to go, I had a great lunch of water and herbal tea. Yummy! After that meal, I completed a three-mile walk just to get the blood pumping. We’d had many days of rain, so I needed to experience sun on the face and some semblance of motion. With the music blaring through my AirPods, it was a great time killer, and a strong motivator.

I rewarded myself with a tall glass of water (getting bored of this menu yet?), which I enhanced with a zero-calorie flavor additive, which was surprisingly effective! It is amazing how you can trick your body into believing some red water is an indulgence. A couple of hours later I had another glass – this time orange flavored. I was out of control.

For the first time, I began to feel that mysterious energy Matt spoke of. Meetings were flying by, I was productive, and though I was still hungry, it didn’t seem as distracting as it was the day before. Dinner awaited – my last big hurdle. Given the family calendar was filled with activity, I was grateful there was no sit-down event this night. Instead, it was leftovers in front of the television with whomever was home. There was support and encouragement – and some disbelief I had lasted this long without bacon. If anything, this fast has enriched my reputation at home. “Hero” is a term often overstated. In this case, I feel it is entirely appropriate.

Something very different for me during this fast was I needed to get to bed much earlier than normal. With my eyes drooping, I bid my family goodnight at 10PM. It was at that point the support and love from my offspring reverted back to ridicule and mockery. Maybe “hero” was not meant to stick.

Sleep was better than the previous two evenings, and I awoke at 6AM with more energy than I’ve felt it a long time. Pushups and situps were completed, and I won’t share the last time I could make that claim.

The moment arrived, and I stepped on the bathroom scale – that teller of truths that haunted my dreams. Usually when I stepped on this evil, it took a few seconds for the wheel to stop spinning. This time, it was quick – and low and behold, I was eight pounds lighter from Monday morning, which equates to about 4% of my body weight. Not to state the obvious, but weight loss here is largely moot, as it is mostly water which will return quickly if old habits continue. My plan was to use the fast as a springboard to better health, and I feel good about that. The clothes are looser, the stride is confident, and I don’t feel like I’ve swallowed a dingy. Heartburn and acid reflux have also subsided, which was quite welcome.

So here I am, at noon on the third day. This is a big moment – what becomes my ceremonial first meal out of solitary confinement? I wanted to order a meat lovers pizza, roll it up and eat it like a burrito. However, my research says moderation is key when reintroducing food to the body – and I chose a plate of scrambled eggs and some fruit. Not exactly a “last meal”, but I’m glad I did it, as there was a small amount of nausea minutes after I was done. I suppose that binging wasn’t a smart idea anyway.

Has this experience encouraged me to undertake a 72-hour fast every quarter? Maybe. Weight control has been challenging in my 50’s – and it was pretty cool to drop those 8 pounds so quickly. Perhaps it is a good practice, as long as the dropped weight is higher than the bounce up. The secret may be to stay less round.